How do you get your partner turned on? How much time does it take? Think back to your last few sexual encounters and try to estimate the time. Was it 5 minutes? 10 minutes?
Remember, it takes women much longer to get revved up than it does men. You may be rock hard and ready to go, but your female friend will probably need double that time or more to be wet and ready for you.
The most experienced lovers know that sex isn’t really about the end point. It’s about enjoying the ride. The longer you hold off on your own orgasm, the deeper and more intense it will be for you and your partner.
By focusing on your partner and allowing her to also reach her ultimate orgasm potential, you will transcend the mundane sex of lesser men. Women will be calling you wanting more and more.
And when they talk to their friends, they’re going to say that you’re “different” than all the rest. You really know what you’re doing in bed. You drive them wild!
So how long exactly are we talking about here to get women turned on? Well, many women can take up to 20 minutes to get fully aroused. You’re probably thinking, “What the hell am I supposed to do for 20 minutes?”
The answer: Plenty.
In this section we’ll cover 26 separate body parts that you can touch, tickle, tease, kiss, lick, or nibble to excite and stimulate your sexual partner. The key here is to tease your lady friend.
Make her beg for it. Make your sexual experience a total all-body experience for her that will keep her fantasising about you for days.
This is admittedly part anatomy lesson. But, don’t skip this chapter just to get to the “good stuff.” Remember, it’s crucial to know what you’re working with. You’ll be surprised just how interesting a pussy can be. There is way more going on down there than initially meets the eye.
So sit back and enjoy this illustrated erogenous zones anatomy guide and take notes! You’re going to be using this later!
The penis and the clitoris
The penis and the clitoris, not so different after all
Unless you were a Biology major, this may come as a shock. The penis and the clitoris are basically the same thing.
What?
Yes, you read correctly. You see, initially in the embryonic state, males and females are identical. By week 11, human fetuses start to differentiate by developing external sex organs. And even during differentiation, a lot of things look strikingly similar, as you can see in the diagram below.
Penis and clitoris similarities
We won’t bore you with the medical details, but suffice it to say that the clitoris and the penis are basically the same glans in a different form. Except of course, the clitoris is much more densely packed with nerves, giving it tremendous levels of sensitivity, as well as tremendous potential for super strong orgasms.
Once you realize that the clitoris actually isn’t all that different from your penis, you may feel more comfortable with the idea of working it. No, we don’t mean this in a gay way. Female anatomy is overall much different than men’s–after all women have uteruses and can bear children. Guys can’t do that.
What we mean is that the clitoris and the head of the penis developed out of the same type of tissue—tissue that is super sensitive, packed with nerves, and ready for sexual play.
So, as you can see, the clitoris actually isn’t a huge mystery after all. It’s the same thing you’ve got going on down there, only smaller, more discreet, and much more densely packed with nerve endings.
Although the clitoris is a bit like a tiny supercharged penis head, but that doesn’t mean that the clitoris necessarily enjoys the same type of stimulation.
But don’t worry, in this anatomy guide we’ll walk you through every bit and bob of the female form, as well as the best tips and tricks to drive her wild with your touch, as you work your way up to becoming a cunnilingus champ.
The vulva
The vulva includes all of the external organs that you can see outside a female’s body including the mons pubis, labia minora and majora, clitoris and the external openings of the urethra and the vagina.
The vulva only includes the external bits; nothing internal. A lot of people use the term vagina to refer to the entire kit and kaboodle, but vulva is actually the correct term. The vagina is really just the hole itself. The vulva is the entire outer area.
So, what can you do with a vulva? Well, first of all, don’t call it a vulva. Merely reference it in your mind as everything on the outside. It’s good to remember during foreplay not to start plunging inside the vagina with fingers, or other appendages until your partner is turned on and begging for it, which, again, should take up to 20 minutes.
To get your partner super turned on, we’ll cover each particular part in detail throughout this section.
🤘 Tip
You may want to have some lube handy, though saliva can also work well, as the friction of skin-on-skin action can be a bit discomforting for your female friend. With a little lube, you can glide all over her lady bits with ease.
The Mons Pubis
The technical name kind of sounds like a mountain on Mars, right? In a way, it’s a lot like a little mountain. The pubic mound is a nice little fuzzy (or non-fuzzy) mountain that signals the entryway into your female friend’s genital region.
Unfortunately, many men move right past it and ignore it altogether. Now, this is a missed opportunity, indeed.
The pubic mound is where pubic hair may or may not be present. Perhaps your partner has a robust bush of pubic hair, or is more detail-oriented and trims, shaves, or waxes the area. Whatever you find down there when you remove her knickers, don’t voice your preference.
Many a moronic man has taken the opportunity of first seeing a woman’s nether region as an opportunity to force his opinion on her body. Remember guys, it’s her body. Do not make any negative commentary about your partner’s body during a sexual encounter. This could be disastrous for your relationship.
Not looking for a relationship? That’s ok. Women tell their friends when men make them feel like complete garbage and word gets out real fast. Don’t be that guy. And if you’re in a relationship and not a pube-man, you can always talk about it later when you’re not having a sexual moment. Besides, try it. You might like it!
Pubes or no pubes, the pubic mound is a great place to get some foreplay action going. If your lady has pubic hair, this is a nice place to gently stroke. Slide your hand down into her underwear just a bit and gently tousle her pubic hair. Coupled with some kissing or nuzzling around the neck and ear area, a delicate Mons Pubis massage can do wonders.
Though, don’t go any further than the pubic mound. Take at least 3-5 minutes to slowly pet her fuzz. Don’t go any further. This will relax your partner. She’ll be thinking, “Whew, he’s not in a hurry. I can just relax!” and when females aren’t caught up in their minds about being forced to go too fast, they’re much more receptive to sexual arousal.
If you’re getting signals that she’s turned on like heavy breathing, moaning, or sighing, just gently graze across her clitoral hood and go back to touching her pubic mound, legs, hips, and belly area as if nothing happened. This type of teasing will drive her wild.
⚠️ Warning
If your lady shaves her pubic mound, she may be sensitive to upward strokes from the direction of her pussy to her navel. You’re probably equally sensitive to upward strokes on your freshly shaved face, right?
Use downward strokes in this area to go with the grain of the hair so that you don’t irritate her shaven mound.
The Front Commissure
The front commissure is the area just below the mons pubis. As you can see in the diagram, it’s the bit where the mons pubis meets the clitoral hood.
When you’re getting your woman all hot-and-bothered during foreplay, try putting some light pressure on the front commissure while stroking it with your thumb or fingers. The front commissure is the beginning of the shaft of the clitoris, so it is loaded with nerve endings.
Remember, the vast majority of the clitoris isn’t actually visible, as it is just under the clitoral hood. Therefore, stroking the front commissure is a sure fire way to get those clitoral nerve endings activated in a gentle and non-threatening way.
The really cool thing about the front commissure is that it is situated just next to the pelvic bone. This area is the perfect point to stimulate the internal portion of the clitoris. Once you’ve got your lady friend very worked up, you can start experimenting with heavier levels of pressure in this area.
When you find the pelvic bone, you can use sensual pulsing motions to gently grind the internal shaft of the clitoris against the pelvic bone. If she gives you reassuring signals like heavy breathing, moaning, or sighing, then keep doing what you’re doing. She loves it!
Additionally, the front commissure has become a bit famous in regards to the Mount Method, which we’ll cover in Chapter Six: Techniques.
The Clitoral Shaft
A lot of guys have the false notion that they need to “find” the clitoris. When in fact, the clitoris is mostly covered beneath the clitoral shaft. As you can see in the diagram above, the clitoral shaft is a lot like the base of your penis.
You can’t pull your foreskin all the way down the base of your penis, much like you can’t pull the clitoral hood all the way up the clitoral shaft. However, there are thousands of nerve endings in this area, making it a great zone to stroke and stimulate with varying levels of pressure.
Though not as highly sensitive as the Clitoris glans itself, the Clitoral Shaft is a region that should not be ignored.
When you’re touching your partner during foreplay, gently stroke the clitoral shaft with your finger. Now, however softly you’re touching it, touch it even softer. Yes, do is softer and slower than you ever thought possible. Stroke the clitoral shaft so softly that you’re barely even touching it. Stroke it so slowly that you couldn’t possibly go any slower.
This type of teasing should drive your partner so wild that she’ll be ready to scream out and beg you to touch her with more pressure. Experiment with varying levels of soft pressure and stroking, or tapping motions to continue to get her pussy ready for you.
The Clitoral Hood
The clitoral hood is the covering of the clitoral shaft. It’s a lot like foreskin in that it covers the clitoris, which is a lot like the head of a penis. Now, whereas many men often enjoy handjobs that can be rather vigorous on the head area, the female clitoris is much more sensitive.
In fact, the clitoris contains double as many nerve endings as the penis. Therefore, much gentler motions will have the same effect.
The clitoral hood can be very gently pulled up to reveal the creme de la creme, the pearl of the oyster, the crown jewel….the clitoris. Now, each woman is completely different. Every clitoral hood will display the clitoris somewhat differently. Some women may have a more exposed clitoris, whereas other women’s clitoral hoods would need to be pulled back to reveal the clitoris itself.
Because the clitoris is so incredibly sensitive, it’s a good idea not to yank up the clitoral hood in excitement to see the gem inside. A woman needs to be very worked up to have her clitoris touched straight-on and most women actually prefer it stroked through the hood.
Imagine an uncircumcised male. The clitoral hood is very much like the foreskin of the penis. Men really don’t enjoy having their foreskin peeled back and the head of their penis to be rubbed vigorously.
Ok, maybe some of them do. But, remember, the clitoris has double the amount of nerve endings as a penis head. Most women will prefer to work up to having their clit exposed and touched or licked, so take your time.
And there is plenty to do with the clitoral hood alone. Stroking, tapping, or using circular pulsing motions are all great ways to tantalize the clitoral glans that is lying just under the clitoral hood.
One cool maneuver you can use on the clitoral hood is to place your pointer and middle finger on opposite sides of the hood with the hood in between. Now slowly raise your fingers in an alternating pattern while squeezing the hood in between them.
If you’ve ever taken piano lessons, this would be synonymous with a trill. If not, just keep rubbing your fingers back and forth and adjust the speed to your lady’s liking.
This maneuver works particularly well when you’re propped up against the head of the bed and your woman is situated in the crook of your arm with her head on your chest or shoulder. Use your other hand to reach around and give her the ole two finger clitoral hood trill maneuver. You’re going to blow her mind.
⚠️ Warning
If you’re both engaging in manual stimulation, i.e. you’re touching each other, it can be really easy for you to get worked up. In other words, if your partner is pumping your dick up and down rather speedily, you may have the initial thought to mimic her speed and touch her clitoral hood with equal aggression.
However, this may not always be the case. Communication is key. Simply ask, “Do you want it harder?” or “Do you want it faster, too?” just to make sure you’re on the same page.
The Clitoris
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The Frenulum
The frenulum resides just underneath the clitoris where the two upper bits of the labia minora connect with the underside of the clitoris. This is a great spot to gently rub or lick as you work your way around the clitoris during foreplay or oral stimulation.
⚠️ Warning
Remember, the urethra sits just under the frenulum. Most women aren’t too fond of having their urethra rubbed. So, be especially careful not to knick this area with a loose fingernail during foreplay.
After all, you don’t want to give your lady friend a urinary tract infection. Those are seriously nasty.
The Labia Minora and Labia Majora
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The Vaginal Opening
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The Fourchette
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The Perineum
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The Anus
Ah, yes, and now we come to the anus, which you may refer to colloquially as the asshole, butthole, chocolate starfish, or or brown eyed willy. No matter what you call it, it remains the same elusive and mysterious end to that long strip of pleasure starting at a woman’s pubic mound.
As we mentioned, some women aren’t into anal play, and that’s ok. Remember, it’s her body. And, there is really nothing less-sexy than an overly pushy guy trying to stick his dick in your asshole. Yeah, he’s not getting a call back. That’s for sure.
Therefore, first it’s important to figure out if your sexual partner is even interested in anal play. You could always just straight-up ask, but if you do, remember to come off as cool, confident, and as completely non-threatening as possible.
If she says no, let her know that it is not a big deal at all. Otherwise, she’ll be mentally comparing herself to an imagined harem of your previous butthole lovers.
Now, how can you bring this lady to multiple orgasm heaven if her head is in the worry zone? You can’t. Women need to be relaxed in order to let go enough to cum.
So, let’s recap. Determine if your lady is into anal. If she’s not, it’s no big deal. Back away from the butthole. On the other hand, if she’s interested, there is oh so much potential in the back door area.
Some girls simply like the area rubbed with a bit of saliva on your finger. Don’t neglect her buttocks during anal foreplay. Squeeze her sumptuous butt like it’s the most succulent peach you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Let her know that you love it and you can’t keep your hands off of it.
If your lady is into anal, then you’ll probably know at this point. Girls who like anal will be squirming in your hands and arching their back so you can get better access to their back door. Girls who aren’t into it, or may have changed their mind, will be squirming to get away from you.
Be mindful and pay attention to your woman. Remember, it’s all about her pleasure, so if she’s into it, go full force. If she isn’t, just back off and try again some other time.
Some girls are open to some finger play in the butt. You can probably get away with some saliva for rubbing the exterior of the anus, but you will for sure need some lube if there will be any insertion going on. So just tell her, “I would love to feel your tight little asshole around my finger. Mind if I grab some lube?”
⚠️ Warning
Do not double dip. Remember which finger you used on her butthole and do not dip that finger back into her vagina. It’s kind of a biohazard, for real.
You could inadvertently give your lady a vaginal infection if you’re going totally rogue on these two areas, and we all know what a vaginal infection means….no sex for weeks.
Inside the body – G-Spot
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Other erogenous zones – Delicious bits you just can’t forget
The word erogenous comes from the Greek word eros, which means love. Now, you don’t need to be in love with your sexual partner to activate her erogenous zones.
Just know that by activating them, you will be sending some very good vibrations through her body that will get her more and more ready for the main course of perfect cunnilingus.
Head and Hair
You know that feeling when you’re getting your hair shampooed at the barber? In a totally no-homo way the barber or stylist is shampooing your hair and you just get tingles all over. It’s relaxing, right?
The head area is a fantastically seductive erogenous zone to take advantage of during foreplay. If you want your lady’s pussy to moisten up just for you, you’ll need to get her relaxed and ready. Why not start with a gentle scalp massage that will have her moaning for more?
And if she’s into it, maybe give a few nice tugs to her luscious mane. Some girls like having their hair pulled so much, that they may even request it when you’re thrusting into them from behind in doggy style.
Neck
Don’t overlook the neck. The neck is a very sensitive area that responds well to light sensations. If your lady is into hard neck massages, save that for the massage parlor. If you want to get her turned on, run your fingers lightly down her neck, behind her ears.
Try gently scooping up her her hair from her neck and giving her warm and soft kisses from the back of her ears all the way to her shoulders. Gently pull on the collar of her shirt to give her more kisses just beneath the collar.
This is also a great way to get that shirt to come off, as she’ll be wanting more of those soft kisses all over her body.
Remember, the goal with the neck area is to give her a juicy tingly sensation that will spread all the way down to her pussy and get her turned on and ready for more stimulation.
Ears
How often do ears receive attention in day to day life? Pretty rarely, right? That’s what makes this erogenous zone super sensitive and hot for women.
Use your fingers on your partner’s ears to trace their soft outline. Notice the tiny peach-fuzz hairs on the ear and try to touch them so gently that you’re only stroking this fuzz. Once she starts relaxing and the moans and sighs start coming out, it’s time to give her ears a little nibble.
Use your mouth to give her earlobe light kisses. Experiment with big kisses, small kisses, and nibbles to see which elicits the best response.
⚠️ Warning
Do not stick your tongue into a woman’s ear. That’s called a Wet Willy and nobody wants that.
Lips
Did you know that lips have 100 times more nerve endings than our fingertips? Word.
After you’ve been caressing her neck, nibbling on her ears, and lightly pulling her hair, it’s probably time to move on to the most erotic part of her face: her mouth.
Start out with soft and gentle kisses punctuated with nibbles and a little tongue. Work your way up to full on french kisses and again, make sure that she’s into it. You’ll know she’s into it if she’s kissing you back with equal fervor.
Don’t forget to use your hands while you’re making out, and no, don’t just use them to grapple at her breasts. You’re not 15 (Or maybe you are—shit dude, you’re learning early! Good for you!).
This is all about her pleasure. Use one hand to strongly caress her neck. Slide a hand down her spine and let it rest on her hips. Pull her hips into you and then glide your hand back up her spine. Activate all her nerve receptors from the tip of her head to the base of her spine to make her ache for the caress of your warm tongue on her pussy.
🤘 Tip
Don’t be afraid to kiss her with passion. Some guys think that by staring into a female’s eyes, they’re going to end up married within a week. This is simply not the case. If you want to give a woman a mind-blowing sexual experience, you’ll need to treat her like you’re actually into her.
You don’t have to profess your undying love for her or anything, but taking some breaks from your makeout session to look into her eyes and caress her luscious lips with your fingertips, can’t hurt. Say something like, “You are so fucking sexy,” and then plunge back into your hungry kisses.
A passionate makeout session coupled with sexy banter will make her pussy super wet and ready for you.
⚠️ Warning
Don’t stick your tongue down her throat. French kisses are awesome, but there’s a fine line between sexy and suffocating. Walk that line gracefully.
Arms
The tissue on the inside of the arms is particularly sensitive, yet many men don’t spend time on this area during foreplay. This is a huge missed opportunity. If you lightly stroke the inside of your arm, you’ll feel just how sensitive this skin truly is–you’ll feel tingles all up your spine from just a little caress!
Now, during foreplay you could lightly touch the inside of your partner’s arm, or inch your way from her fingertips, up her arm and to her breasts with delicate yet hungry kisses.
🤘 Tip
The inner elbow is an incredibly sensitive area. Don’t forget to lavish some love on this underserved area.
⚠️ Warning
When we say the inside of the arm, we don’t necessarily mean the bottom half of the top of the arm. This area can sometimes be a bit flabby on some women and as we know, women can be rather self-conscious.
Therefore, don’t tease and tickle this area if your partner seems uncomfortable about it. After all, she may take things the wrong way and think you’re making fun of her flap flap. Not cool.
Stomach
Let’s imagine you’re cuddling on the couch together, or laying in bed. Soft, gentle, yet firm touches on the lower stomach can elicit powerful tingling sensations in your partner’s pussy. Go slow and let her savor each and every touch.
Tease her by gently rubbing her lower belly and coming very close to her pubic mound, without actually touching it. In this way, you’ll build up her arousal without going too fast. When she finally cries out for you to touch her down there, don’t give in just yet.
Instead, build up a slow trail of kisses down her stomach and then stop to give special attention to her pubic mound and front commissure. Make her beg for it before you go any further. Her pussy will be dripping wet by that time and totally ready for your tongue action.
Along the Spine
Giving your partner a nice back massage is one way to get things started in a more sexual direction after a long day. However, it’s also a way to get her blood circulating, which means increased blood flow to all regions of her body, if you catch the drift.
The spine is also an incredibly sensitive area that loves to be touched, caressed, tickled, and kissed. As with any touch, pay attention to your partner’s responses. If she gasps or sighs at any particular point, don’t just move on.
Take a moment to give some extra attention to her favorite spots to keep the momentum building.
The small of the back is another region along that spine that is really jam-packed with nerve endings. Try kissing this area very slowly, or using your tongue to follow her spine all the way down to her bum.
⚠️ Warning
Don’t follow the spine all the way to the butthole. You’ll freak some girls out with that kind of action (though others may love it).
Bottom
Now that you’ve traced her spine with your tongue all the way to her bum, take this opportunity to use both hands to grab her butt cheeks like you’ve never seen a bottom so round and fine in your entire life.
Squeeze her rump–pet it, caress it. Kiss it and pay particular attention to her hip area where her butt connects with her leg. This area can be incredibly sensitive, so you can really drive the ladies wild by kissing all the way around from her bottom to her pubic mound and back again.
She won’t know what you’re going to be up to next, but she won’t be able to wait. You’ll drive her mad!
🤘 Tip
Women are also often very self-conscious about the size of their hips and bums. Compliment your lady on her butt and help her to feel at ease.
Legs
Legs are an important part of any sexual encounter, whether it’s foreplay, oral sex, vaginal sex, or anal sex. Use your hands to caress up and down her legs. Hold her feet while you kiss her thighs. Use your hands to massage and hold her hips as you hungrily kiss her neck and shoulders.
Kiss the backs of her knees. Kiss the spot where her legs meet her pubic mound. Use your thumbs to pulse pleasure through her thighs as the rest of your hand holds her legs firmly for better control.
Yes, the legs hold infinite possibilities and are definitely not a spot to be ignored.
Feet
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Breasts
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Nipples
Research shows that when you stimulate a woman’s nipple, that information is processed in the same area as her brain as when you stimulate her clitoris and vagina. So, as you can see, the nipple can be a very intense pleasure zone for women.
Some women can even achieve orgasm through direct nipple stimulation. That’s pretty wild, right?
Try gently squeezing her nipple with your fingers and slightly raising it. If she likes it, go ahead and bring nipple number two into the action, as well.
Once you’ve got her nipples super hard and erect from squeezing, you can start to lick them in a circular motion. Take turns moving from one breast to the next and paying attention to her moans. If she’s moaning, that means she likes it. So, by all means, continue doing exactly what you’re doing.
For the grand finale of nipple play, you can intensify the sensations by sucking on her nipples. Start out sucking gently, and increase the pressure of the vacuum as you go. Pucker your lips and use them strategically to pull on her nipples as you suck them one by one.
This may or may not bring her to orgasm, but it’s guaranteed to get her super hot and bothered and ready for the most mind-blowing oral pleasure of her life.
🤘 Tip
Nipples come in all shapes and sizes. Appreciate the nipples you’re sucking on in the present moment, rather than comparing them to previously “perfect” nipples you’ve seen.
Additionally, just as all nipples are different, all women are different. Some women enjoy rough nipple play, and others are more sensitive. Respect your partner and make sure that whatever you’re doing is giving her pleasure.
What guide to follow – An example order
Now that you’ve been completely bombarded with information and your brain is in information overload, we’ll show you a few example guides. Now, you can most definitely mix things up.
Seduction is a very energetic thing—you should be in the moment with your partner and constantly reading her body language and the signals she is sending you. However, we recognize that sometimes it’s just best to go with the tried and true methods. Check them out:
The tension reliever
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The makeout session
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The titty sucker
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The clitoral crescendo
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Coming up: Taste and texture
In the next chapter you’ll learn how to make the most out of the plethora of vaginas you’re bound to experience.
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