Dry Vagina
If you’ve been with a woman whose vagina didn’t get wet after a good 20-30 minutes, you probably felt inevitably crestfallen. But, the reality is that many women experience vaginal dryness and it has absolutely nothing to do with your powers of seduction.
Vaginal dryness can be caused by estrogen levels, which rise and fall throughout the month. So quite literally, if you caught her on a bad day, her pussy could be dryer than usual. It’s really not you.
Women already know that drinking the recommended 8+ glasses of water per day is great for their figure. However, many may not know that staying hydrated will actually help to keep the skin moisturized. Yes, this includes the vaginal skin. So, if you notice that your partner isn’t downing a glass of water every hour, you could suggest this as a preliminary measure.
Play it chill and say something like, “Hey babe. I realized that I don’t drink enough water every day and I’m going to make an effort to do better. Can you remind me every hour to drink a glass of water? Do you want to do it with me?”
This is a much smoother approach than, “Hey, you need to drink more water because your pussy is dry as fuck.” Nooo—don’t say it!
Nearly 1 in 5 women between the ages of 18-50 experience vaginal dryness, and this percentage goes way up after menopause. So, if your woman has had a hysterectomy for medical reasons, this could also be the culprit.
No matter what is the cause of her dryness, it’s up to you to not make her feel horrible about it. Don’t take it personally, and make a concerted effort to show her that it’s not a big deal. Remember, when women get stressed out, they can’t relax enough to get turned on, get lubed up and have an orgasm.
So, it’s your job to keep your woman super relaxed so that she doesn’t focus on any flaws or shortcomings.
After all, vaginal dryness really isn’t a big deal. There are so many lubes and moisturizing gels on the market that you could experiment for years. If your partner is experiencing vaginal dryness, it’s best to talk about lubes and gels together.
Make it a part of your sexual routine. Lube her up while you’re fingering her. Make it sexy. What you don’t want to do here is go out and buy some lube and then surprise your girl by saying, “Hey, I got some lube for your vaginal dryness!” The key here is not to mortify your woman. Make it sexy, not weird!
🤘 Tip
Use a water-based lubricant before sex to make sure everything is nice and slippery. A petroleum-based lubricant like Vaseline will also work. If your girl has severe dryness, she can also apply a vaginal moisturizer 2-3 times per week, which will last longer.
Vaginal moisturizers don’t need to be applied right before sex. And a combination of both the lube and the moisturizer will take care of most dryness issues.
Vaginal discharge
Vaginas are kind of amazing—they’re self cleaning organs. That means that you don’t actually have to wash a vagina with soap. They clean themselves—kind of like cats. Is that why they call them pussies? Mind blown.
Because vaginas clean themselves, it’s not uncommon to come across some mucous-y discharge in your girl’s panties or in her vagina. That’s just her vagina cleaning itself. No big deal. Of course, if the discharge is yellow, green, or brown, she could have an infection. You might want to let her know.
Queefs
You’ve surely had one of those awkward moments when you’re really in the moment fucking a girl hard and then suddenly you hear this God-awful farting noise.
You think to yourself, “Did this bitch just fart on me?” No, well, maybe. But, chances are that she merely queefed, which is a completely natural phenomenon.
If you’ve ever pumped air into a bicycle tire, you can easily see that queefs are entirely within the realm of physics. As your dick is doing the ole’ in and out maneuver, air is also being pushed little by little into her pussy. Eventually, there’s so much air in there that it escapes—in a very farty way.
If your partner queefs, absolutely do not make a joke. If you’re about to laugh, bite your tongue. Bite it hard! Even if you think your partner has a pretty good sense of humor, you’ve got to draw the line at making fun of her vaginal farts.
You’ll know if it’s a queef if it doesn’t smell. You’ll also probably be able to feel it a bit on your dick as the air escapes. If it does smell, it could have been an actual fart. Otherwise, your partner could have a really serious condition.
Don’t say anything during sex, but if you’re close with your partner, you may want to mention it later.
⚠️ Warning
If the queef smells (and it’s legitimately a queef and not a fart that she’s attempting to disguise as a queef), your partner could have a fistula, which is a connection between the vagina and the colon. It’s a really serious condition, so if this is the case, she needs to see a doctor ASAP.
One way that women can mitigate the risk of serious queefing is to practice kegel exercises. Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic muscles and can tone up the vagina so that it can really grip your dick during sex. Ask your partner if she’s ever tried Kegels (she probably has) and then request a demo.
Women CAN Fake It
When you cum, it’s pretty obvious, right? Since most men orgasm and ejaculate at the same time, it’s pretty hard for men to fake their orgasms.
Women, as we know, have more nuanced orgasms. In fact, if she wasn’t screaming, breathing heavy, or flat out telling you she orgasmed, you might even miss it. And for lots of women, for many reasons, they choose to fake their orgasm.
Some women do this because they don’t want to disappoint their partner. After all, the girl must like you at least a little bit to be having sex with you in the first place. Women are usually careful not to bruise the male ego. Although, faking orgasms really isn’t helping anyone involved.
By faking it, guys don’t realize that they’re doing anything wrong. In fact, they might even think they’re pretty good at it, which of course can have disastrous consequences—mainly that you won’t get any better at it.
On the other hand, the woman doesn’t have to face whatever it is that is blocking her from orgasming. So, faking it is a bad idea for everyone involved.
If you suspect that your partner is faking it, don’t just come right out and question her like the Inquisition. Be much more sly about it. She might not be faking it. Perhaps she’s just a really dramatic orgasm-er. And if she is faking it, the last role you want to play is that of the suspicious and blaming lover.
Many women don’t orgasm due to a lack of clitoral stimulation. Are you spending a full 20 minutes dabbling in foreplay before you start licking her? Have you asked her what she likes?
Let your partner know that she can tell you anything. Stress to her how much you value honesty. Let her know just how much you want to make her cum over and over again. Try to fix the issue together by staying cool, calm and collected about it.
The last thing a woman with an orgasm problem needs is a partner who is freaking out about his inability to make her orgasm. Remember, stress for women will only hamper them from orgasming. Keep the sex-zone stress free.
By having open and honest dialogue during and outside of sex, you’ll be able to get to know what your partner needs and you should be able to legitimately make her orgasm after some time.
Inability to Orgasm
Then again, there are some women who really can’t orgasm. Anorgasmia is a condition in which a woman can’t reach climax even after ample sexual stimulation. Anorgasmia affects about 5% of women.
Ask your partner if she can reach climax through masturbation. If so, the problem isn’t as bad as it could be. In this case, simply help her to relax with dim lighting, nice music, and maybe even some porn. Try to replicate the scene in which she normally masturbates. You can fondle her breasts while she masturbates or even masturbate with her.
After a few sessions like this, ask her if you can try to touch her as well. You could even allow her to get herself very close through masturbation and then you lick her to orgasm just at the very last moment. Work together to figure out how she prefers to be stimulated.
Another issue which can affect a woman’s ability to orgasm are clitoral adhesions. If your partner is unable to pull back her clitoral hood, she may have a buildup of smegma under the hood which has essentially grown into the folds of her skin. As you know, the clitoral hood is a lot like the foreskin and if you don’t pull back your foreskin and clean it, it can get kind of gooey.
For women who haven’t pulled back their hood in years, this can amount to a fused clitoris. This can usually be pretty easily cleared out by a visit to the gynecologist, or in less severe cases, a very dedicated scrubbing with a washcloth and cotton buds and tweezers.
If you can’t see your partner’s clit at all and it seems as if it’s stuck underneath the clitoral hood, this may be worth mentioning to her so she can seek medical help.
On the other hand, there are a number of women who can’t orgasm at all. Some of these women may have experienced sexual trauma such as rape, incest, pedophilia, or other types of trauma. Events like these can leave scars on a woman’s psyche that prevent her from being able to be emotionally or physically intimate.
If your partner hasn’t told you about any sexual trauma, don’t push the subject during sex. Above all, do not say something like, “What’s wrong with you? Were you molested as a kid or something?” This is incredibly insensitive and will probably only further the wedge between your relationship.
If your partner has confided in you, help her to seek out professionals to help her conquer her pain so that you can grow closer as a couple.
⚠️ Warning
Lots of women aren’t into being tied up, being taken from behind, or other submissive positions because of a sexual trauma in their past.
If you’re with a woman who seems really averse to these types of dominant acts, you don’t need to push the subject. Simply respect her boundaries and she’ll confide in you when she feels like it.
Is Cunnilingus a Risky Behavior?
The risk of contracting an STD via oral sex is considerably lower than through unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse. However, no matter what you’ve heard, any kind of unprotected sex or oral sex poses a risk of contracting STDs.
If you have cold sores, for example, that’s herpes. And yes, you can give you partner herpes by going down on her and you don’t necessarily have to have a huge cold sore at the time. Definitely steer clear of oral sex when you do have a cold sore, but if you want to play it super cautious, you may need to also wear a dental dam when you go down on a girl.
Don’t hide the fact that you have herpes. Just tell her, “I sometimes get cold sores on my mouth and I heard that if I go down on you I could actually pass that on to your pussy, which doesn’t sound like fun, so I’d prefer to play it safe.” Any woman will respect that.
🤘 Tip
Even non-microwaveable plastic food wrap can make a pretty darn efficient makeshift dental dam.
STD clinics have reported that 5-10% of patients with gonorrhea actually have gonorrhea of the throat. You can do the math on this one. And unfortunately, antibiotic-resistant oral gonorrhea is on the rise, which makes oral gonorrhea pretty difficult to treat.
It’s best to avoid cunnilingus while your partner is on her period, as menstrual blood does carry enough HIV to form an infection.
⚠️ Warning
If you have a cut, blister, or sore in your mouth, avoid oral. Additionally, if you’ve recently had dental work done, avoid giving oral sex.
⚠️ Warning
Avoid oral with girls who are menstruating. Of course, you could clean her off really well with a washcloth and then only lick her clit without going any further towards her vagina. However, this is still a risky behavior. Dental dams are your safest bet.
Is Rimming Risky?
Although rimming is not an effective way of transmitting HIV, if there is a tear on the anus, or blood present in the fecal matter, it could happen. You’ve got a better chance of contracting syphilis, hepatitis A, gonorrhea and intestinal infections from rimming.
There are vaccinations against Hepatitis A and B, so if you rim a lot with a lot of different partners, it’s best to get one.
Using a dental dam is an efficient way to prevent STDs from rimming.
💡 Remember
Wash the asshole very thoroughly before rimming and make sure there aren’t any cuts present.
Safer Sex
Talking to your partner about their sexual history can be weird, but it’s no more uncomfortable than contracting an STD.
Take charge of your sexual health by having the guts to have this much-needed conversation with your partner before you engage in any sexual activity. Don’t make any assumptions about whether or not your partner has an STD. Also, don’t assume that she’s going to take care of birth control. Ask.
You may be unsure about how to start this conversation. Yes, it’s an awkward conversation to have, but you have to have it to protect yourself. So, tell your partner that you care about having safe sex.
Think about times that you’ve had other difficult conversations with your partner. What worked? What didn’t work? Use this data to think about how you should have this conversation.
Think about what you’re going to say ahead of time. Choose a time when you’re both feeling positive. If you choose a time to breach this topic when you or your partner are feeling tired, or grumpy, things could easily go downhill.
During the conversation, make sure that you come to some agreements.
- Get tested for STDs
- Use condoms, dental dams, other safe sex tools, especially with other partners
This kind of open dialogue might be a bit uncomfortable, but it’s a hell of a lot more comfortable than contracting an STD.
💡 Remember
Even if you’re just having a random hookup, it’s seriously important to talk about STDs and protection. Carry condoms with you and dental dams at all times. You could easily bust them out and say, “I’m ready!”
💡 Remember
Even if you’ve already had unprotected sex, it’s never too late to talk about sex for the future.
🤘 Tip
Get tested for STDs every 6 months to a year if you’re sexually active. Stay on top of this!
Air Embolism
An air embolism is when air gets into an artery or vein, which can cause stroke and even death. Never blow air into your partner’s vagina while you’re performing cunnilingus. It’s ok to lightly blow over her vulva, like when you’re using a breath mint to stimulate that feeling of hot and cold.
However, blowing directly into her vagina is incredibly dangerous. Although air embolisms are quite rare, they do happen, so don’t risk it.
⚠️ Warning
Never blow directly into a vagina. The risk of developing an air embolism is higher with pregnant women who may have a tear in their uterus.
Episiotomy
If you’re with a woman who has given birth to a child, she may have had an episiotomy. Some women’s vaginal openings tear naturally during birth and have to be sewn up with stitches. Others have to have a surgical cut performed for various medical reasons. This also requires stitches. It can take a woman at least a month to heal from an episiotomy.
The resulting scar from an episiotomy can be very tender. Therefore, if you notice a scar at the lower end of the vagina extending to the perineum, be careful with it. Ask your partner if she had the procedure and if the scar gives her any problems. You may need to use a lubricant during sex to ease the pain.
Safer-Sex Gear
Dental Dams
Dental dams work great for oral sex. Dental dams are small, thin pieces of plastic that you use to keep vaginal and anal fluids containing bacteria or viruses away from the mouth during cunnilingus.
Dental dams are also available in silicone for those with latex allergies. However, plastic cling wrap will also get the job done.
🤘 Tip
If the natural flavor of the vagina weirds you out, put a little flavored lube on your side of the dental dam, or chew some minty gum.
Latex gloves
Fingering a vagina or anus can also pose a risk—especially if you have a small cut on the side of your nail. Even a small cut can spread blood borne diseases like HIV.
So, if you want to be especially cautious with new partners, simply wear a glove. Admittedly, a rubber glove isn’t necessarily the sexiest thing in the world, but if you can work into some doctor role-playing, it might work.
Condoms
There’s nothing sexier you can bust out during sex than a condom. This will show your partner that you’re not only a rockstar pussy licker, but you’re also damn smart.
It’s always fun to mix up cunnilingus with a bit of dick teasing. You know, sliding your dick all over your partner’s wet pussy before diving back in for more pussy licking.
Well, whether you’re using your dick as a way to enhance cunnilingus, or you’re going all the way in for vaginal or anal sex, condoms are the only way to prevent against STDs.
Latex condoms
Latex condoms are about 85% effective in preventing pregnancies and the effectiveness rate for different STDs varies. When used correctly, condoms can prevent the transfer of HIV nearly 100%, but other STDs like HPV can be transferred by other parts that aren’t covered by a condom, like the scrotum.
Latex also stretches really well, so if you’re a big guy, you won’t have any problems slipping on a latex condom. But remember, latex condoms really shouldn’t be mixed with oils. Oil can cause a latex condom to slip or break more easily. Use a water-based lubricant instead.
Latex-free condoms
If you’re allergic to latex, that’s no excuse. Nowadays there are polyurethane condoms that also prevent pregnancies and the transfer of STDs. Polyurethane condoms are quite thin and lots of people prefer them as they mimic the feeling of condom-free sex.
Lamb skin condoms
In the olden days, our ancestors used animal intestines as condoms. True story. Today you can enjoy lamb skin condoms, but beware—they don’t prevent against STDs and aren’t as effective as latex condoms in preventing pregnancies.
Also, be careful not to bust these bad boys out around vegetarian or vegan women—that’s a real recipe for sexual disaster.
Spermicide condoms
Spermicide condoms are all the rage for those couples with serious pregnancy anxiety. Condoms with spermicide give double the protection, as the chemical lube inside actually kills your sperm.
⚠️ Warning
Lots of guys and girls find that they’re allergic to spermicide. Ask your girl if she’s ok with spermicide condoms before you use them. Nothing kills the sex vibe like a serious allergic reaction.
Textured condoms
Ribbed, dotted, and studded condoms are all the rage. Some women who have vaginal orgasms really enjoy the effects of a nice ribbed condom. Whereas, for women who prefer clitoral orgasms, it may not make a difference.
Warming condoms
Warming condoms can provide a little extra stimulation. These condoms pack a punch with a fiery lube that can rocket girls to orgasm. In other cases, it just rockets them to the shower to wash off the warming lube.
💡 Remember
Make sure your girl knows you’re using a warming condom and she’s down for it.
Designer condoms
No, these condoms aren’t made by Louis Vuitton, but they do have cool patterns on them. So, if you want to try something a little different, grab a pack of these weird condoms to spice things up.
Flavored condoms
Lots of girls are very down to give you a blowjob if you’re wearing a strawberry or banana flavored condom. I mean, who wouldn’t want to stick a cock in their mouth when it tastes like the ice cream flavor of childhood summers?
Even better, if you fuck your partner for a bit with a flavored condom on, and then you want to eat her out, her pussy will also be flavored. Score!
Ultra Thin condoms
Yes, ultra thin condoms have been approved by the FDA. Therefore, they’re just as effective at preventing pregnancies and STDs. Additionally, thin condoms are not more prone to breaking than regular condoms.
Ultra thins help you to feel the sensations better and many males and females alike prefer them. So, geez, why isn’t everyone using ultra thins?
Her Pleasure condoms
A few brands offer condoms for “her pleasure” that are supposed to increase friction at the head, as well as stimulate the g-spot. Try them out and see what your partner thinks!
Glow in the dark condoms
Hey, if you’re getting jiggy after a costume party, why not whip out a glow in the dark condom to wow your lady friend? Guaranteed amusement. Turn off the lights and let your light shine!
💡 Remember
Don’t use double condoms. This won’t offer more protection, it will just make the condom more likely to tear.
Flavored Vulvas
Flavored lube was basically made for oral sex and it comes in an astonishing variety of flavors. You can go for a water-based lubricant, or an oil-based and pick your flavor. Vanilla, strawberry, banana, and chocolate are go-to flavors, but lubes come in all kinds of kinky flavors that you may not have considered.
Some lines even offer vagina-flavored and cock-flavored lube. So, if you really want to try something radically different, there is a lube out there just for you.
⚠️ Warning
Many flavored lubes contain glycerin or aspartame, which some women are sensitive to. Always discuss what you’re using with your partner. Knowledge is power.
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