By Amy J. Fillmore – Author and blogger
How to get her in the mood for oral
Foreplay. Yes most men find it rather boring, but foreplay is actually incredibly important in getting a woman in the mood.
Research shows that most couples only spend about 7-8 minutes in foreplay, and this just isn’t enough to fully prepare your partner for sex.
Extending the length of foreplay can greatly increase your girl’s chance of having an orgasm during oral or vaginal sex. As we’ve mentioned before, it can take women up to 20 minutes to get fully turned on, so you’ll want to maximize these 20 minutes to ensure that she is super juiced up and ready for you to blow her mind later with multiple orgasms during oral and sex.
When you spend time engaging in foreplay, you’re ensuring that extra blood is pumping to your partner’s pussy. This increased blood flow will help her vagina to produce natural lubrication.
In other words, foreplay gets her body ready for you. Muscle tone throughout her vaginal and pelvic region will increase. Her uterus will actually shift upwards just a bit to make room for your dick during sex.
So, remember that a lot of physical changes need to take place in a woman’s body to prepare her for mindblowing sex. If your partner isn’t orgasming during oral or vaginal sex, chances are that you just haven’t spent enough time warming her up.
Put her pleasure first
Guys are hardwired differently than women. A man will be ready for sex in a few minutes, as opposed to the 20+ minutes it will take a woman to warm up. A guy could be completely done, start to finish, in less than the time it takes a woman to even get ready for sex.
Many women end up enduring this quick, abrasive and lackluster sex and are then stigmatized by their partner for “never wanting sex.” As you can imagine, if sex for you was totally unsatisfying, you probably wouldn’t want it either.
Obviously, this type of one-sided sex also creates a negative dynamic for any type of relationship. Even if you’re not dating this chick, she’s still going to think of you as a loser and she will drop you quicker than you can imagine once she finds a guy who can eat her pussy all night.
Getting yours without giving to her might give you a quick high, but it is nothing compared to the high of being able to make a woman scream with pleasure and squirt like a geyser. Having sex with a sad dry pussy is no match whatsoever to a gushing pussy that is aching for your cock.
By eating pussy like a pro, your partner is going to go wild for you. There’s really nothing like being truly wanted, rather than being constantly shut down in the bedroom. Once a woman wants you with this level of lust, your confidence is going to go through the roof. Which means you’ll only get more pussy.
By unlocking jedi-master levels of pussy eating skills, you’re basically transforming your life.
But, in order to get to this level, you have to go for the foreplay. Yes, at least 20 minutes of foreplay (or until she truly begs for more). This can be difficult, as your cock is going to be rock hard and ready to party, while she is still getting revved up.
Maybe 10 minutes in you start thinking, “Fuck it. I can’t wait any longer. 10 minutes is long enough right?” Wrong. Remember, you want your partner’s pussy to start juicing up. You want her to want you so bad that she’s begging for your cock.
And when she starts begging for your cock, you’re still not going to give it to her. Instead, you’re going to give her at least one orgasm by eating her pussy first. Oh yes, you are. Strength, men!
Don’t cum early
Before getting to oral, you’re going to have to make it through the foreplay. Some guys just keep their dick off limits during foreplay, as they find it difficult to concentrate on their partner. But, women can get really turned on by touching your cock, as it can help them to get more aroused.
If your girl wants to play with your dick, you might need to experiment with the start and stop method. This means that when you start to feel close, you simply ask your partner to stop. Take a minute or two to continue kissing caressing one another, before you let her touch you again.
The more you experiment with stopping, the easier it will be for you to sense the sensations that lead up to that feeling that you’re about to cum. In the future, you’ll be able to pinpoint these sensations early on so that you can stop in time before you cum.
Another method is to think about something else. Now, this could temporarily ruin your boner, but thinking about something very un-sexy can definitely stop you from cumming.
Try thinking of something moderately unsexy as opposed to full-out grotesque. In other words, think about your to-do list, rather than your grandpa naked.
Of course, the ultimate method for not cumming during foreplay is to focus 100% on your woman. Yes, your dick will be burning with the fiery desires of 1,000 suns, but it will all be worth it in the end when your partner gets super wet and turned on after 20 minutes of foreplay.
Using kisses to turn her on
Being a good kisser is one way to let your woman know that you’ve got some mad skills in the oral department. After all, kissing is the original oral sex.
Having a hot and heavy makeout session that lasts will give your partner plenty of time to imagine what you’ve got in store for her later. Kissing for a good 10-15 minutes will help both you and your partner to relax and become more turned on, and there’s actually a scientific reason behind this—the swapping of saliva.
Researchers at Lafayette College found that kissing for 15 minutes helps to reduce stress and increase bonding feelings, especially for men. Researchers suspect this is due to the swapping of hormones via saliva. Weird!
Flicking your tongue back and forth furiously in your girl’s mouth, as you would a clitoris, isn’t very sexy. It’s actually pretty weird. Keep your kisses slow and sensual and don’t let your tongue go rogue back in the corners of her mouth. Eew.
Using kisses to find out what she likes
Let her know you want it
It’s important to exude an air of cool confidence when taking things to the next level with your partner. Even if you’re feeling intimidated, do not let her know it.
Look sexy. Act sexy. And most importantly, act like you want her. If you act as if you hungrily need sex without an actual desire for her as an individual, you might as well just quit now.
Your approach will set the tone of the entire experience, so be true to you. Whether you choose to act more playful, sensual, steamingly sexy, or flirtatious, this is all up to you. However, the number one rule is to continually give her signals that you want her.
Look her in the eyes. Give her a playful and flirtatious side grin. Raise your eyebrows when you look at her body. Above all, play it cool and confident.
How to initiate foreplay
Set the mood
The techniques
A sensual massage
Remember, the purpose of foreplay is to get extra blood pumping to your partner’s pelvic region so that her body will naturally lubricate for sex. One surefire way to get the blood pumping is to give her a sensual massage.
For the massage to be sensual you’ll want to punctuate it with kisses along her spine, butt, and legs. You’ll also need to focus on the insides of her thighs, the small of her back and all of those erogenous zones that will make her sigh and moan with pleasure.
Look out for her sighs and listen for what she likes, so you can concentrate your teases on these spots.
A steamy shower
If you or your girl have had a long day, you may want to take a shower together to wash off all the grime. Girls are always worrying about something and body odor is one of those things.
So, unless you’re into musky body smells, a shower is probably the best idea. If you’re feeling more romantic, opt for a bath. Girls dig baths.
Breast stimulation
Touching, licking and sucking your partner’s breasts can make her arousal levels soar and get her super wet. But remember, boobs are a part of your girl’s body. They’re not squeeze toys. So, start out very softly. You can always increase the pressure as you go based on what she likes.
In many cases, even very soft caresses will get her very turned on. Start out my caressing the outside part of the breast and save the nipple for last to tease her until the very end. Likewise, save your licks and sucks for once she starts begging for it.
You can tell a girl is into it when she starts writhing around uncontrollably. She may even start to dry hump your leg. These are all good signs for you to continue upping your contact levels.
And did you know that some women can actually orgasm from breast stimulation? It’s true. If your partner is really into boob-play, keep going for as long as you can. She might even orgasm.
Check to see if she’s ready
Masturbation
Depending on the girl and your level of comfort with one another, you could also choose to watch each other masturbate while switching off between touching one another’s naughty bits. Not only is this super fun, but it also gives you a chance to see how she touches herself.
If you can get a sense of the rhythm she likes, you can mimic this same rhythm later on. Try placing your hand over her hand and say, “Show me what makes you cum so I can lick you at just the right speed later.” What girl could turn that down?
Vibration
Don’t be afraid to bust out her vibrator as a prelude to oral. Using a small vibrator, like the ones that you can put over your finger, can be a great way to get her turned on so that oral will be a breeze.
But of course, this all depends on the woman. Some women don’t like toys. And some women might get desensitized by a vibrator if you use it for too long. Talk to your partner to see what gets her off.
First, she’s going to think you use this vibrator on a bunch of other girls, or that you use it on yourself. Either way, this will not spell s-e-x for you.
Act out your fantasies
Role playing is a cheeky way to flirt your way into your partner’s imagination. Oftentimes, role playing can take a girl’s focus off of herself and let her focus on getting into character. And, if she’s pretending to be someone else, that can sometimes help to ease her insecurities and help her to loosen up.
If you’re pretty good friends with this girl, you probably know some of her turn ons. So try playing into that with a devilish grin. If she plays along, just go for it.
Perhaps your girl, like millions of other women, is tantalized by the idea of being tied up (thanks 50 Shades of Grey). If so, you can easily have a necktie laying around that you can wrap around her eyes while you kiss your way down to her pussy.
Kisses south of the border
Another way to warm up your partner is to start kissing down her stomach, down her back, or down her sides leading up to her vagina. These are very sensitive areas you’re dealing with, so it’s again very important to take your time with long and sensual kisses.
If you kiss with fast fluttery kisses, you might just tickle her. This can ruin the long setup that you’ve worked so hard on. The idea is to make her super comfortable and blissed out, right? Don’t treat her like a Tickle Me Elmo at this pivotal moment.
Use your tongue to kiss down her sides. Give her one good bite as you kiss around her bum and circle in on her inner thighs. Come up for air to kiss her on the lips and look her in the eyes to tell her that you’re going to take all the time in the world on her. Tell her that you love her pussy. You are going to eat her pussy for hours.
Remember, we don’t want girls to start overanalyzing during oral. You’re at a critical moment here.
Listen to her body
Coming up: Techniques
In the next chapter you’ll learn how to lick and suck each and every pussy you encounter to glorious orgasm after orgasm.